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Is Inner Child Work Always Negative & Bad?

be yourself as you search your inner child

Before we look at today’s lesson on how to consult your positive inner child, let’s recap:

Last time, you identified your Peaceful Place

Your quest to discover your Life Purpose is more than finding the right job or the best business to start. 

It’s a spiritual growth path… You’re going to find that your Life Purpose not only provides you with the happiness and abundance you’ve always searched for, but it will also bring value to those around you. 

As I mentioned in lesson 1, you’re not going to discover your life path “out there”. This may be the first time in your life you’re going to invest quality time with “inner reflection”. 

Obviously, this can be done anywhere. However, I wanted to start the journey off with you finding that one special place where you can get away from the “world” and all its distractions. A place for looking within where the true, authentic answers come from.

Vital Inner Child Questions

Depending on whether you’re a beginner in these matters or a bit of a veteran, you also had some questions to ponder last week. I told you that I really wasn’t too concerned with how far you got with them because we’d re-visit them in future lessons. 

Let’s re-visit one of them right now: 

  • What did you love to do as a child? 
  • As a teen-ager? 
  • Do you still partake in any of these?
  • If not, why not?

Yes, I can count 😉 I realize that I just asked you four rapid-fire questions 😉

Should Life Be Hard?

Before we explore these questions more, let me back up a little.

Is life supposed to be fun or a drag? Well, c’mon, what do you believe?

Did you know there are millions of people alive today who believe that life is supposed to be hard? That if you don’t struggle, constantly pulling your hair out in your quest for purpose and value, then you’re doing something wrong.

Where did they learn this? And, yes, they learned this somewhere. At some point, someone or something taught this type of person that life was hard.

You may be this person 😉

Remember When It Was Fun Simply Being Alive? 

There was a time in your life, however, when your spirit was as free as a bird, gliding through the sky, unaffected by all the turmoil existing below. There was a time when you were simply happy to be alive… the magic of existence was all you needed to feel passion and joy.

You didn’t need anything to happen “out there”. You didn’t need to obtain any material possession.

You were simply HAPPY and FULFILLED to be here on this planet they call Earth.

You didn’t:

  • have a thought in the world as to how to pay the bills
  • care what bread or gas cost
  • worry about how retirement might look
  • worry about which religion was the proper one for you
  • agonize over your business marketing direction
  • worry about which career choice would bring the best income or status
  • care what travesty the fear-mongering media was reporting this time
  • worry about whether you were a good enough parent
  • understand what that feeling of fear and anxiety deep within your soul felt like yet

All that mattered was you, not the you given a name to differentiate you from other physical people… 

I’m talking about the inner self you that is formless and spiritual.

OK, What the Heck is Matt Talking About Here?

I’m talking about when you were a child. Back before you were:

  • taught to be afraid
  • taught to be conservative
  • taught that taking chances meant certain disaster and doom
  • taught that it mattered more what possessions you acquired than how in tune you were with your inner being

I fully realize that you may well be one of the many unfortunate people to remember a terrible childhood. I understand, I really do.

But there was a time that pre-dates those horrible memories. There was a time that pre-dates whatever events led you to believe that this world is dark and scary.

There was a time when you sensed this life is actually meant to be fun. This is a place you need to start getting back in touch with as we move along together. 

It’s Ok to have fun in life! 

Yes, it is!

I don’t care who told you it wasn’t OK. I don’t care if it was your mom, dad, counselor, sibling, friend, the TV, the cops, the government, the tax man, the newspaper reporter… 

THEY WERE WRONG

This Leads Us Into Today’s Inner Child Lesson…

I want you to get back in touch with what it feels like to enjoy life. The way to do this is to get in touch with the time when you actually allowed yourself to feel this way. 

For most of us, it’s at that innocent time in childhood before the world grabbed a hold of us, took our innocence and with it, our zest and joy for life.

Allow me to ask you again… 

What did you love to do as a child?

What made you feel joyful and playful? It’s time to get in touch with the playful child that still exists somewhere within your soul. 

What really interested you?

What filled you with wonder and awe?

Did you have a fascination with a certain animal or aspect of nature, such as:

  • trees, 
  • mountains, 
  • the sky, 
  • grass, 
  • rocks, 
  • water, 
  • the ocean, 
  • fire, 
  • wind… ?

What games did you love to play? 

Were they inside games or outside games, or both?

Explore your inner child. Re-connect with that feeling of joy in life no matter what’s happening around you. 

Have you ever seen adults having an argument or experiencing what they perceive as an awful event while at the same time a small child is simply playing or smiling, oblivious to the doom and gloom? There’s something magical about experiencing joy and wonder no matter what is happening out there in the world.

Re-discover what it feels like to simply be, to exist without any thoughts regarding gain, possessions, or “progress”.

You may even want to get out some games you played as a child and play them now. Doing that which you did during those innocent times can do wonders for your soul and self-discovery.

Were there any hobbies or activities you did as a child that you gave up because they don’t help you earn money today or help you “progress” in some way? 

Remember, you did them as a child simply because. You didn’t have any sense of “responsibility” or “I gotta take life seriously” yet. 

It is OK to do something simply because, you know 😉

Sometimes, that which you did many years ago just because will become a great clue when determining your Life Purpose. 

Here’s another great question, “What did you want to be as a child?” Think back to all the career interests you thought about back then.

be as you consult your inner child

What Came Naturally To You?

Additionally, what natural skills did you show as a child or teenager that you never really took seriously before?

Here’s an example of that from my life: When I was in 11th grade or so, it became apparent to my parents, my English teachers and myself that I possessed some proficiency for writing. 

As I went through my Life Purpose exercises, I remembered enjoying writing papers in high school. I enjoyed the research, learning new ideas, and then trying to express my thoughts in a way that made sense to anyone reading my words. 

It was weird, though. I never took it seriously. When I graduated high school, I never thought about taking this particular interest and turning it into something. 

However, all these years later, as I reflected on my inner being and got in touch with my Authentic Self, I was surprised to find how often my thoughts kept going back to my writing. 

There was never any “ah ha!’ moment. Over time, I kept hearing this little voice whispering, “You loved to write. What happened to this idea? Why didn’t you ever pursue it further?”

Suddenly, one huge aspect of my own Life Purpose slapped me upside the head! There it was. Writing! Oh yeah! I love the stillness of writing. I love becoming quiet, thinking about what I want to express and then simply typing away until I get it all out.

But I had forgotten all about this exciting activity (exciting for me, at least 😉 for many years after high school graduation. Once I re-discovered it, though, there it was… back in its full glory! I began writing.

Ok, Back to You & Your Own Life Purpose…

Do you remember in Lesson 1 when I told you that you already know your Life Purpose? Do you see how one aspect of mine was already there deep within me, ready to be listened to?                                                      

Yours is, too!! But you’ll never discover it until you take my advice regarding your Peaceful Place, getting in touch with your inner voice, inner child, and the exercises & ideas I have planned for you over the coming weeks (wait til you get a look at Lesson 3… powerful stuff you don’t want to miss).

Going back to my life as an example… I’m a quiet person by nature, which fits perfectly for a writer. It doesn’t fit quite so nicely for a 16 or 17 year-old-teenage boy, though 😉 Middle and high school can be pretty tough for a quiet, shy kid.

I realized I had made a concerted effort back then at trying to be something I’m not: a more out-going, boisterous type person… 

When I was a child, I remember my mom always commenting on how I liked being alone with my thoughts and hating it every time she said it. I wanted to be out-going and popular! 

However, you were right Mom 😉 I was trying to change myself to fit what I thought others wanted from me.

What qualities have you changed about yourself because you thought “society” expected something different?

This can be a HUGE clue when it comes to identifying your Authentic Self and Life Purpose!

I want you to think about something this week…

How can you discover and live your Life Purpose if you’re not in touch with what will make you feel as though you’re having the time of your life?

Without enthusiasm and inspiration, how will you re-awaken your soul?

In order to end up where you’re supposed to in this life, you must enjoy the journey on the way there. Asking your inner child what it is that you enjoy is a great beginning to solving the puzzle. 

Ok, at this point I’m going to have you switch gears a bit. This is in preparation for the lesson you’ll receive next week

I want you to answer the following questions for homework in addition to your inner child work:

First,

How would you live differently if you found out today that you only had six months to live?

Secondly,

What would you do differently over the next five years if you knew you only had that long to live?

Thirdly,

If you died today, what would you regret not having done yet?

Now, you’ve probably come across a similar exercise at some point in your life. However, (as I’ll touch on again next week) did you actually sit down and work this exercise out in its entirety?

Hmmmm? Come on now, be honest here 😉 

Do you always blow these types of questions off because you’re either too afraid to look at such possibilities or you don’t think they’ll do you much good?

Your Assignment

Go to your Peaceful Place: Get into a peaceful state and begin consulting with your inner child. Get out your pad of paper and write down your childhood likes, games, and fun. Begin thinking deeply about what you see appearing on your paper. Think about how far you’ve strayed from feeling, experiencing, and enjoying life as you did back then.

Re-read the section above that begins with the question, “What did you love to do as a child?” This time, stop to record the answers to all the questions I bring up in that section. 

Simply reflect on the questions:                                                       

How can you discover and live your Life Purpose if you’re not in touch with what will make you feel as though you’re having the time of your life?” 

“How will you re-awaken your soul without experiencing enthusiasm and inspiration?” 

Answer (in full) the following questions:

“How would you live differently if you found out today that you only had six months to live?”

“What would you do differently over the next five years if you knew you only had that long to live?”

“If you died today, what would you regret not having done yet?”

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